Dennis watched as his basketball missed the hoop again. Rats! Another miss. He really wasn’t good at this arcade hoops game. Just last weekend he had found a great deal on SimsList. Some guy was getting rid of his barely used arcade games including a free-throw hoops game, a foosball table, and an old Fire in the Skies game from when he was a kid. These were the perfect addition to his pool table and big screen TV and video games. Dennis smiled as he realized his dreams of a man cave in the garage were slowly taking form.
Dennis looked up to see his older son waving at him like an idiot, trying to get his attention.
“Oh uh… hi Tiburon.”
“Dad?” Shark rolled his eyes. “Whydaya have to call me that?”
“Because that’s your given name,” Dennis smirked.
“Yeah, but Shark is way cooler sounding,” Shark shoved his hands in his front pockets in annoyance. “No one but you calls me Tiburon. Why did’ja and Ma name me that anyway?”
“Because it’s the Simpanian name for shark,” Dennis replied. “You know that. Your Ma was born in Simspania.”
“But we’re not Simspanian,” Shark whined. “It’s so weird. Just call me by my Simlish name.”
“Okay, Shark, what’s up?”
“Uh Dad…” Shark shuffled toward him, eyes on the ground.
“Wanna shoot some hoops?” Dennis offered.
“How do you please a woman?”
Dennis blinked rapidly and coughed. What did my son just ask me?
“Quit kidding around,” Dennis laughed awkwardly. “Let’s shoot some hoops.”
“Dad, I’m serious,” Shark said, looking up at his father earnestly.
“Ooo…boy…” Dennis ran a hand through his hair. “Are you really getting to that age?”
Where had the years gone?
“Dad, I’m seventeen. I’m almost a man. I need to know.”
Dennis was flattered his son came to him. He hadn’t expected this. Of course, a few years ago, he’d been giving Shark the “birds and bees” talk and the boy had no interest. Was it only a few years ago? No, it was more like twelve. How the time flies!
Dennis racked his brain. I think I talked to him about manhood. I think I did. I know I did because my dad never did. Dennis had to figure everything out on his own, but Shark and Lolly didn’t need to, Dennis wanted to make sure of that. But he really hadn’t gotten back around to talking about more than just the basics.
Dennis exhaled heavily. “I guess you have a serious girlfriend now.”
“Yeah Chase is a great girl,” Shark said. “I just want her to be happy and everything. I thought we were going places, but she’s been stand offish lately. I mean…” Shark blushed and looked at the ground. “I… want… more… I think… and I think she does too… but she’s nervous or somethin’ and I don’t know how to fix that.”
Dennis let out a deep-bellied laugh. “Son, you can’t fix a woman.”
Shark rolled his eyes. “Yeah Dad, I know that.”
“No, you really can’t,” Dennis said, half-jokingly and half-seriously, thinking about his own train wreck of a wife.
I once thought I could save her. He shook the thought of his head and shoved it back in the corner where it belonged with the cobwebs and dust.
“So howdoyadoit?” Shark tilted his head to the side.
“Do it? Like the mechanics?” Dennis asked.
“No, Dad…” Shark grunted. “I know… well… I think I know that… I mean, my other question… the one about pleasing a woman.”
Dennis inhaled sharply and then relaxed his shoulders as he exhaled more slowly. “There’s no one right way. It’d be nice if there was a manual or something for understanding women, but there’s not. Every woman is different and unique. She’s special. You’ve got to treat her like that.”
“Well, Dad, how do you do it?”
Dennis blinked rapidly, surprised by his son’s question. He had been wondering that himself. How do I please Silver? Nothing he did seemed to work. She just shoved him away recently. Nothing he did seemed like enough. She wanted more… more of what he wasn’t sure, but he couldn’t remember the last time he had actually pleased her, or her him. It seemed like all they did recently was argue, and they didn’t even have makeup sex like they used to, not that they’d done a lot of making up recently. Silver seemed to be permanently annoyed at him. He closed his eyes and tried to think back to his days of youth when he discovered his sexuality. What words of wisdom can I give my boy?
When he opened his eyes, he noticed Shark was staring at him oddly. He tried to relax his face into a smile.
“She needs to feel safe,” he began. “Safe… like nothing bad is going to happen to her. You won’t let it. She needs to… feel… loved… like she’s the most important thing to you in the world. You cherish her. Speak kindly to her. Tell her she’s beautiful. I mean… really beautiful… and mean that from the bottom of your heart. Don’t just say the words to get what you want. Say the words to touch her heart, to make her feel safe, loved, cherished…”
“You put her first… before your own needs. It’s hard. You probably won’t get it the first time or the second or the third, but you need to remember she comes first. Her needs. Her wants. Her desires. They need to mean more to you than your own.”
“Don’t push her into anything. Don’t demand anything. Don’t do it just to get off or get that high. Do it because you love her and you care. Do it because you want to be with her in every possible way because she is your world. You want to fold yourself into her world, not the other way around.”
“Don’t expect it to be pleasant the first time or the second or the third for her or even for you. There’s no magic formula to getting it perfect or right. It’ll take awhile of exploring and trying and working at it to reach the best.”
“But she’s not a toy. She’s not a thing. Treat her like the queen she is. Take your time. Don’t rush her. Remember she needs to feel safe and relaxed. If you’re pushing or pulling for your own way, she won’t feel safe or relaxed or loved and you can pretty much forget it.”
“If she feels safe and loved, she will naturally, with time, with practice, want you and enjoy you. She will crave your touch. She will desire your presence. She will want to give you what you want and need because she wants and needs it too. It’s a give and take. It’s a conversation.”
“Don’t be afraid to talk about it, son. We’re men, but the Maker gave us mouths and ears. We can talk and listen. Listen to what she’s saying. Really listen.”
“And when she asks about how you’re feeling, be honest with her. Feelings are important to a woman. They should be important to you because everything that’s important to her is important to you. No questions asked. No ifs, no ands, and no buts. You are her man. You need to listen. You need to talk. You need to engage her. It’s part of the intimacy.”
“She needs to know you’re on her side. She needs to know you want what’s best for her. If you can’t bring your A game, don’t bother. She needs you. All of you. Not just what’s in your pants, but up here… your head…” Dennis tapped his son’s skull. “…and your heart and your soul. She wants intimacy, and ultimately, you do too because it’s more than just a release. It’s a union of everything you are and everything she is. That’s what it means to make love.”
Dennis took a deep breath as he paused. His heart ached, wishing he was younger, wishing he could start over, wishing he could have all the things he had just told his son about, but he knew that wouldn’t happen. He couldn’t remember the last time he and Silver made love, and he wondered if they ever did. He envied his son. Shark was at the pinnacle of manhood and he had a woman in his life who cared about him. Dennis wasn’t sure he could say that.
“Does that answer your question?” he asked quietly.
He couldn’t tell if Shark was standing there looking at him in awe or shock. Before he knew what was happening, Shark was hugging him. It was a quick hug… a manly hug… a slap over the shoulder and pat around the back and then he pulled back. Shark straightened to his full height, flipping his hair off his face, and looked his dad dead in the eye.
“Yeah… Dad… it does…”
And that was all the thanks Dennis needed.
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